Thursday, January 17, 2008

ONE fete - The Aftermath...

What: All-Inclusive
Where: Queen’s Royal Park Oval
When: Saturday 13th January 2008
How much: $400 (Last year: $250)

What started out as a “buy yuh ticket at de gate for $125 fete” is now ah “we doh even advertise and we done sell out all we tickets already fete”. Five years later and I would say the landscape of ONE fete has definitely changed.

I have been going to ONE fete from inception…and if it wasn’t for me knowing someone this year and last year, I might have been unable to attend.

Walked into the fete and immediately noticed the increase in security. I was actually “wanded” at the entrance by the security.
ONE fete as always, never fails to deliver when it come to ambiance. The area was decked out with Chinese style lanterns in red and white and we had to cross a bridge over a water feature to get in…nice ting man… Anyhoo


The band was already performing when I got to ONE fete sometime after 7:00. By the time I made my way stage side, Kees had already reached the part of his performance where he takes of his shirt (*sigh*), and the dance group Eclectik was on stage.
3.5 throw waist out of 5

One word to describe Eclectik’s performance and that’s phenomenal!
Decked off in white and silver, Eclectik did a routine to their tune “Roboman” and they had the crowd’s full attention. Check out their performance here.
ECLECTIK gets a 4.5 robot throw waist out of 5.

Mysta Vybe also came on with Kes the Band to perform their song “Wave it Away”. I would this was an improved performance from the night before when I saw him in CIC. My boy going down in split and ting yes!
3 throw waist out of 5

This was my first time seeing my Maximus Dan perform for the season.
Max is a Mus Dan sang his tunes from this year and one of my favorite tunes from last year “Love Generation.”
Maximus Dan gets 4 throw waist out of 5.

BUNJI and the ASYLUM feat. his wife Faye-Ann Lyons
My expectations were generally low when it came to seeing Bunji and the Asylum perform cause I honestly not overly impressed with their contributions this year.
I became turned off when, at the start of the performance, the security (I doh know if it was stage security or fete security) blocked the area immediately in front of the stage.
At first I thought this was because of the pyrotechnics used, but then the security just stayed there. It was only when Faye-Anne started singing for them to move, that they did so.
Back to the performance.
I found that the music was sounding a bit off, but Bunji and Faye Anne kept the crowd very entertained, especially with the little husband/wife banter about who does wear the pants, and the also had the crowd moving…LITERALLY!
Faye-Anne one thing though...dat barefoot ting nah wuk! Leave dat fuh de self proclaimed soca queen.
3.5 throw waist out of 5.

Blaxx came on during the Asylum’s set, sang “Breathless” and worked the crowd into frenzy for all of 2 minutes and left.
I eh even get Breathless yet.
Made me lose the back of my earring and my tres expensive L’oreal lipstick that was tucked into my bra too. Hmph.
3.5 throw waist out of 5.

IWER GEORGE feat his two sons
Mashin up fete is his name and he did that and more. Brought the sons out early in his performance and showed the crowd how to do the Soca Passa Passa dance. We were also treated to variations of the dance by some local MALE passa passa dancers. Very entertaining.
3.5 throw waist out of 5

I can probably count count the few Bajan performers that can successfully move a Trini crowd on one hand.
Peter Ram unfortunately is not one of them.
While his tune this year is just as nice as last year he came up short. This was a good time to visit the restrooms.
1 throw waist out of 5.

XTATIK feat. Machel Montano HD
At last the long awaited moment had arrived. The area in front the stage all of a sudden becomes thick with people (groupies) trying to get as close to the entertainer as possible.
Shal Marshall came on and hyped the crowd who didn’t need any hyping up…“GIVE IT UP FOR MACHEL MONTANO HD!!!”
And Zan comes on stage. LOL.
Zan sang his tune for this year, the name of which escapes me now, but the crowd enjoyed it. 2.5 throw waist out of 5

After that Shal came back on to introduce Machel.
The crowd went crazy as expected as Machel treated them to hit after hit.
Maybe it was the poor music system, maybe it was the too tight metallic jeans he was rocking, maybe his hi-def wasn’t working but after a while, for me at least, he just went flat.
Machel gets a 3.5 throw waist out of 5


Well look who is a ‘guest performer’ with the band now nah. LOL. Farmer Nappy came on to sing his hit tune, but no one heard him. Why? Cause his mike wasn’t working and apparently the only people who noticed this was the crowd, cause no one on stage attempted to rectify the problem. We did hear the track that he was singing over though.
1.5 chips dong de road out of 5.

I eh know what to say nah.
Patrice has improved over the years, but to me her improvements are minimal.
Now doh get meh wrong eh, her image has definitely been worked on with the new hair cut and the sexier outfits, but Patrice still sounds better on a cd than she does live.
And now with this winer girl routine, like she get confused.
When she singing she forget to wine, when she wining, she stops singing and yuh hearing the tracks she singing over.
Nice songs, but an overall bleh performance sung over tracks.
2 throw waist out of 5

You may not know the name, but you know the song. Ricky T is from St. Lucia and he sang his tune “Pressure Boom”.
This was a good time to start rounding up your crew to leave and try to avoid the traffic.
1.5 throw waist out of 5

By the time Ricky T finished, the mass exodus of people leaving the fete had begun, even before Xtatik’s set was done.

No main meals at this fete, but there were many types of appetizers to choose from. Chinese, BBQ, suckling pig, mini cheesecakes (yum!), Arabian and more and more and more.
The food was good, the layout for this area was a hot mess. Long lines and plenty congestion.
3 burps out of 5

Several bar areas to choose from and while there were lots of people, the bar personnel were moving very fast.
4 glasses out of 5


There were enough bathrooms for the ladies with THREE full length mirrors outside and at least 5 more inside.
Although I have been asking for more mirrors, the one drawback to having that many mirrors I discovered, is that the women don’t want to LEAVE from in front of them! LOL.
The bathroom area was very warm and dark. They could have done with some more lighting and raising the tents a bit.
3 flushes out of 5

I would say there was more eye food for the men than the women.
Ladies a lot of the eye food in this party looked taken.
3.5 cross eye out of 5
Guys, allyuh inTrinidad…I eh have to say anything else.
4.5 cross eye out of 5

Casualties from ONE fete
My leg that was burnt by Francesca Hawkins' cigarette
My earrings
My L'Oreal lipstick

This review was damn long boy! Jeez!


Dee said...

Afro Chic .... "we had to cross a bride over a water feature" .... took me a while to figure out you meant "bridge" and not "bride" ... I was like WHA! ... what 'crossin ah bride over water' have tuh do wit a all-inclusive carnival fete! .... good review ... as usual

Goddess said...

The chinese food was HORRIBLE!!! And some of the caterers seemed to be poorly organised.

I thought Machel was good, the only drawback to his performance.... we had to witness one obviously drunk young lady try continuously to retrieve some 'lost item' ( probably her dignity) from the throat of a young man, using her tongue. RIGHT NEXT TO US! For bout half hour. Straight! Ick Ick Ick!!